The amazing experience of the birth of our little girl Amayah

Much has happened or at least many things have kept us busy since I had my last opportunity to write a post. As usual I have so many things I'd like to share and so little time to actually do it.

 Baby Amayah

A wonderful blessing made her appearance several weeks ago. Our beautiful daughter Amayah was born to us in our new home, creating memories that I shall never forget. She is doing amazingly well and I'm immensely cherishing the time to simply look down at her beautiful face and see her intense little eyes look back at me. Having a third child has been far easier  than I would have expected (greatly due to the homebirth and having a very healthy child). Our family has had a very smooth transition, with only our 2 year old struggling a bit in the beginning as she had to get used to sharing mom with a baby. Otherwise Amayah is covered in kisses daily by both her older brother and sister and of course mom and dad can't help but also do the same.

I can't write enough about the amazing experience of having a homebirth and so glad we went this route. While it certainly is not for everyone, having our little girl in the comfort of our home was perfect for us and an experience I hope to repeat if we are blessed with more children in the future.

The day of Amayah's birth unraveled fairly perfectly. The night before, I was pretty convinced I would be meeting our child very soon. Around 2 AM I was having fairly intense contractions, but they weren't regular, however trying to sleep or even rest during them wasn't working for me. Deciding that sitting still and waiting for things to happen wasn't going to work for the moment, I got up and started cleaning. Can we say nesting was in full affect? My kitchen was thoroughly cleaned and the other rooms picked up before I decided that I actually must lay down and try to get some sleep, especially since the contractions were still not staying consistent.

That morning my husband's alarm went off to get him up for work and I asked if he'd stay home, again fairly certain something was going to happen, probably in the next 24 hours. He spent the morning at home. We worked in the garden, since I still couldn't relax. I kept thinking about the many things still on my to do list, like getting the last of my plants in the ground and pulling the many weeds that seem to pop up all too quickly. It was my desire to have as much done as possible before our baby was born, so I could better relax for the first couple of weeks and enjoy being a mother to a wonderful newborn.

We worked away for several hours and still the contractions weren't consistent, just on the intense side. Knowing that my husband had quite a bit of work and one particular project he needed to be sent to a client, I sent him on his way to work mid morning. He wasn't overly excited to be leaving me at home, but I insisted and promised I'd call as soon as the contractions got closer together and regular. It was mostly a waiting game at this point.

By early afternoon the contractions started to steady out at 12 minutes apart. I had been having contractions on and off for over a week at this point, so I still wasn't entirely sure it was the real thing or not. However, I went ahead and called my midwife, Aly Folin from North Star Midwifery, to let her know what was going on, so she could be prepared. We were waiting for the contractions to be consistently 10 minutes apart before it was time for her to come. I also called my husband letting him know it was time to be coming home. Within about 45 minutes of me calling both of them my contractions jumped from 12 minutes apart to 6 minutes and came on extremely intense. No more walking for this lady. The contractions sent me to my knees each times. I called Aly and she was promptly on her way, along with her two assistance (Sky and Jackson) who are training to be midwives. The timing really was perfect, because rush hour traffic wasn't insane yet, so both my husband and Aly were able to arrive in good time. This was one of our biggest concerns because we live about 45 minutes away from both my husband's job and my midwife. While I knew what to do if I had to deliver the baby on my own, it certainly wasn't high on my priority list of things I'd like to try. Now, some may be thinking this is exactly why it's better to have a hospital birth, so you don't have to worry about delivering your own baby. Well, let me say that given the choice of driving myself to the hospital with two young children during extremely painful contractions versus waiting for the midwife and my husband to arrive, no questions asked I'd choose the latter. Honestly at this point I'm not sure I would have made it to the car and been able to get the kids in the car seats. This is because, soon after calling both Todd and Aly, I quickly realized that any movement at all on my part ramped up the contractions considerably. So I sat at the end of our bed and waited until someone showed up. Thankfully through all of this my 4 and 2 year old were happily occupying themselves with their toys and I was able to concentrate on keeping  my muscles relaxed and breathing calmly. Much needed at this point because the pain of the contractions was enough to really make me think, "hmm, natural birth? Is this really what I want to do?" :-)

My husband came home, gave the kids some food he'd picked up on his way home for an early dinner and then set up the birthing pool in our bedroom. I had everything we'd needed for the home birth fairly organized and all ready to go in our bedroom, so things could run smoothly. Going through two births before my husband was fairly relaxed, as was I, allowing for a calm environment. I'm not sure our kids even realized that I was going to be having a baby soon. At least not until Ali showed up. My son knew that once the midwife was at the house, a baby was coming.

My husband was my rock and was a tremendous blessing.

Aly arrived shortly after my husband got home and she went about preparing what needed preparing and making sure all was going well with me.  Within about a half-an-hour or so her assistants showed up as well. Sky and Jackson are two wonderful women training to be midwives under Aly so they too can open their own practices in the near future. Everyone was in good spirits, despite the darkening clouds and the obvious rain storm coming our way. Seeing the darkening skies made me happy that Aly had said to make sure we have flashlights on hand for those "just in case" times. We were all hoping it would not be one of those times and thankfully it was not, although we did receive an amazing amount of rain that evening and night.

Amayah only a couple minutes old.

While everyone went about what they needed to do, I concentrated on my body and trying to relax. It's hard to not clench up when the pain of a contraction racks your body. I mostly sat on my knees on the ground, finding this to be the most comfortable position, until the birthing pool was ready. Once it was filled with water, I stepped into the relaxing warmth, hoping beyond hoping that the birthing pool would progress things more rapidly. I tried sitting with my legs out in front of me for one contraction and quickly realized that that was not going to work. One of the wonderful benefits of being at home was I could be in any position, or anywhere for that matter, that I felt worked best for my body. I moved to my knees once again. Being in the water made sitting on my knees far more comfortable as well, since you are more buoyant and you don't have as much pressure on your legs. Through the contractions I had 4 wonderful people there to encourage me, get me food and anything to drink. If there is any point in a woman's life where she should have help and be completely taken care of, it's during the time of birth and the first days and weeks afterwords. I was extremely thankful to have each person's calm spirit. We turned on some chilled music, which gave me something to concentrate on instead of the pain. Overall I was in very good spirits and was able to talk between the contractions and relax.

What's the weight? She ended up being 8lbs 12oz!

After several hours of intensely painful contraction in what seemed like no time my body transitioned into pushing. I will never get over the fact of how much our bodies know what to do on their own. My mind was basically along for the ride while by body's instinct took over and did was it needed to do. Giving birth to me is very interesting. On one hand your brain is telling you to do whatever you can to not be in so much pain, on the other hand it's telling you to do exactly what it needs to do to bring forth a child, which causes you more pain. As much as I didn't want to push because it hurt so much, I wanted to push that much more because I knew the sooner our baby would be born the pain would subside.

A very tired, but happy mom.

My husband was my rock during all of this, just as he has been in my last two births. I am not one who likes to be touched when I'm in a lot of pain, it only makes things more intense. Instead I grasped his hand as tightly as I could, concentrating on him and my grip on him to help bare through each contraction. Very quickly it went from just pushing to feeling a head crowning. In a couple of pushes the head came forth, the hardest part in my book. I felt in my mind, during the brief moments before the next contractions, that I had made it to this, everything from here on out was easy and it was. With the next contractions shoulders came out and  before I knew it I had a beautiful little baby in my arms. I sat back with this precious little bundle and promptly said, "what are you?" We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. Taking a quick little peak I announced our newest addition was a baby girl. What a cool moment.

Getting checked out by Sky. Sky was in control this night as she received first hand experience in helping deliver a baby.

During all of this my two wonderful children sat on our bed. They were far too interested to know what was going on with mom to be distracted with toys and movies. There had been some concern about what we'd do with the kids during the birth and whether we should have someone there to help with them. In the end I went with what I was most comfortable with, which was to wing it and if needed my husband would step out with the kids and take care of them. I knew I'd be in good hands with Aly, Sky and Jackson. The kids did great and I think that it's wonderful they could witness the birth of their sister. They weren't frighted, only curious and very excited to meet their little sister.

Aly, Jackson, Sky and baby Amayah

I truly don't think there is a single part (oh except to get rid of the pain) that I'd change in the birth of Amayah. It was an amazing experience. Being in the comfort of my own home not only created a far more relaxing environment, but after the birth I was able to get in my own bed and sleep after everyone had left. There were no nurses coming in through the night, there were no strange noises to wake me up and in the end I could get some extremely important rest that I've never been able to have when at the hospital. I could also snack and eat as I desired and enjoy the foods I'm more accustomed to. The benefits of good rest the first night after birth really showed themselves in the days moving forward. While I was tired from having to nurse through the night, I never suffered from the extreme exhaustion I had with my first two kids. The type of exhaustion that leaves a person in tears and feeling like they can't function. Not only was I not nearly as exhausted, even with two other children at home, I never got sick, again I believe this was greatly due to not being so worn out. After having both of my first two children I had gotten very sick within a week or so of their births. Sickness combined with exhaustion can leave any mother feeling overwhelmed.

My son getting to hang out with his new sister for the first time.

Also, Amayah never had a transition period of not sleeping well like my other two children had the first night in their new home. This is something many a parent who has had a hospital birth is familiar with. I don't believe I've had a harder night in my life than the night we brought our son home from the hospital. Dead tired, having not slept in about 72 hours, my husband and I spent the whole night sitting in our bed with a screaming little baby boy. Nothing would make him content. Talking to the nurses/midwives, we were told this was normal when babies were brought home to an new environment. Both my husband and I were in tears because we were so exhausted, yet unable to sleep because of our crying child. Being in the room she came into the world in, Amayah has always been relaxed and content and slept well. She spent a good deal of her first two weeks of life in the same room she was born in. You could actually tell how relaxed she was there, even in comparison to being in the rest of the house.

Something else the home birth allowed for, was reducing the number of people we had around right after the birth and for the first two weeks. While it's always fun to show off your new bundle of joy, staying a little more low key allows for that much greater bonding for the whole family. It also allows your baby to have some time to strengthen their immune system. My husband took time off of work to take care of our kids and allow me to rest and heal and we were able to enjoy being a new family of five. We didn't feel the need to have to be picking up the house, being up at any particular time or even getting out of pajamas. The only visitors we had were Aly, Sky and Jackson and one set of grandparents. This was really a tremendous time of family bonding and something we all truly enjoyed. I don't believe we've ever had so much down time together and were able to sit back and relax as much as we did those first two weeks. This was especially nice because we have been so busy for so long, that laying low for a couple of weeks at home was very much like a special vacation. 

Finally, it certainly should be noted that the attentiveness of my midwife and her assistants were amazing. With my past two children, after leaving the hospital that was kind of it for anyone to be checking on me or to see how I was doing and give me help with any type of issues. Even with our children we'd go to their 3 day appointment and then the two week and so forth, but that was it. However, with Aly, she, Sky and Jackson came back to our home the next day to see how both Amayah and I were doing. They looked Amayah over and made sure my healing was going well. They were back on the third day after Amayah was born and again at one week after the birth. I never had to leave my home. They did all that they could to encourage the healing of my body, a truly new experience. I also spoke with Aly on the phone every day for the first week to let her know how things were going. While I didn't have any major problems I did run into some issues with nursing. All three women were able to give me helpful advice to encourage Amayah to latch on in a way that wasn't so painful. They also encouraged me to take her to a Cranial Sacral Therapist, which I did and which ultimately made the greatest difference for nursing. I'll have to try and share more on this subject in another post.

Sisters!

I am absolutely loving being a mother to three beautiful and amazing children. Oh sure I get tired and worn out and the days are certainly busy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I look at my children and thank the Lord everyday that He has blessed my life with them. They have changed me in ways I never thought possible. They teach me new lessons almost daily and have helped me develop a far closer bond to Christ as I now have a far better understanding of the parent/child relationship I have with my Father in heaven.

Oh the faces of a newborn.

This homebirth has been the perfect way to start the next phase of life in our new home as we begin the journey of growing our own food and relying more on the land that God has provided for us.

To read more about my births and thoughts on homebirth check these posts out that I shared over the last couple of months:

Pregnancy #1 - miscarriage

Pregnancy #2 - my son

Pregnancy #3 - my 1st daughter

Pregnancy #4 - the first part of my pregnancy with daughter #2

 A closer look at homebirths

 

A very proud momma. Loving my kids!

One happy family!