Walking With the Lord: My anxious and fearful thoughts

Over the past several months I have struggled with feeling anxious. Anxious for all the unknowns in both my life and in life in general. I am a person who likes to have life settled, needs to know where things are going and have some type of routine to my day. Since our move in the fall all of these things flew out the door and I have been struggling to grasp at the straws of life to once again make some order.

My anxious heart has left me sleepless (well close to it) on many nights as I've wrestled with issues that surround my day to day life as a mother and wife, personal relationships and interactions with church and fellow Christians and then branches out to what is going on in the world and especially our nation.

As I lay in bed, tossing and turning, fear wells up. Overall, I'm not an overly fearful person, but when tiredness overcomes me and darkness surrounds me, fear creeps into my thoughts and my dreams. I can become overwhelmed by the fear of the unknown. My brain begins to make scenarios for different situations I am trying to sort through in life and many a night has found me in tears with a racing heart.


Why do I share this? Mostly I guess because I don't think I'm the only one who struggles with anxiety and fear. If you are a person who can relate on some level to what I've written, I just want to say I understand what you are going through. 

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Matthew 6:25 (NASB) 

What I have found to be true in my life is that the less time I spend in the Bible and in prayer to the Lord, the more my mind opens itself up to anxious feelings and fearful thoughts. Over the past several months, because life has been in such a transition combined with feeling incredibly crummy and extremely exhausted with this pregnancy, I have had a much harder time finding quiet moments in the day to sit down and read the Bible and be in prayer. This has been extremely difficult for me. I love my time in the morning to read and be in prayer. It's a time that I truly need and it's precious to me, because it's just God and me. It gives me time to collect my thoughts and regroup for the day and start out on the right foot with the Lord.

The less presence the Lord has in my life the more open I am for spiritual attack and the place I am most often attacked is with anxiety and fear. While life always seem brighter and I feel far more optimistic in the day, late nights and darkness changes things.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 

1 Peter 5:6-9 (NASB)

However, I am here to say that anxiety and fear don't have to plague us. I think one of the coolest examples I have seen in my life with the Lord is how He always answers my prayer for peace when I actually have enough sense to pray for it in those difficult times at night. Over and over I hand my anxious thoughts and my fears over to the Lord as I hear Him telling me to fear not, but trust in Him, He WILL take care of me (and you).

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:4-7 (NASB)

Taking it a step further. The more time I devote to the Lord, the time He deserves first and foremost above all else, the less I struggle with issues of anxiety and fear in general. He protects my thoughts, because I can dwell on Him.

In Ephesians 6, Paul writes about how we must "put on the full armor of God, so that [we] will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." By daily seeking God, reading His Word, devoting ourselves to Him and showing Him that He is the most important part of life by giving our time faithfully over to Him and putting Him first, we take the steps to put on the full armor of God.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 

^{Ephesians 6:10-18 (NASB)}

Tonight as I head to bed I am dwelling on the Lord and His many blessings. I hope this may be a bit of encouragement for some. Blessings friends. 

Walking with the Lord series by Artistta: 
-  "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."
-  My meandering thoughts for this Monday morning.
-  His blessings this week.
-  Faith and trust in Him with our decisions.
-  A glimpse at the perfection of our Father.
-  Having the right response towards others.
-  Reading God's Word the Holy Bible.
-  Taking time to pray.
-  My testimony. 
-  The child/father relationship with our Lord and how we confuse it.